Much unlike Marc Anthony.
As the news spread about our friend John Kessel’s sudden and
unexpected retirement from USA Volleyball, the global world of volleyball was
put in shock. The suddenness with which he was retired and the unceremonious way
the news of his departure was released was, to say the least, disconcerting.
Incredibly, it is John, ever the optimist, who has turned cheerleader for his
friends, and reassured us into celebrating his future path because he is just
that kind of person.
I shall hold true to my intent in this essay and be positive
about our friend’s retirement. He certainly deserves to go sit by the lake in Bison
Peak Lodge at Puma Hill with a line in the water and peacefully enjoying his retirement
life. Although I must say that I get a chuckle out of the vision of John being tranquil
and just sitting. The man is incapable of leisure.
My friendship with John started many years ago. I actually first
saw John but did not actually meet John at the time. It was on the volleyball
court of course; he was playing for the Denver Comets of the International Volleyball
Association. I was sitting in the stands, a 17-year-old fat kid being astounded
by the game and by the athleticism, wanting desperately to play like those who
were playing in front of me. Over time John and I have talked about this and we
both would marvel at the serendipity of both of us being in the same space at
the same time.
The actual first time we met was many years later, I was a
gradual student and I had started playing pickup volleyball as a diversion from
engineering. I was not very good at the game, I wanted to get better. I saw a
brochure for Gold Medal players clinic. This is not the Gold Medal Squared clinics,
this is way before that time. Gold Medal Clinics targeted volleyball player
wannabes who would sign up for a weekend of training and playing. The staff is
usually stellar, consisting of a lot of college coaches and former players. I
decided to go, paid for it on a gradual student salary.
It was well worth it, and it was also a fortuitous decision,
because I was coached by John, and he was, in my humble opinion, the best coach
for a short fat wannabe volleyball player. He was very patient; he appreciated the love
of the game from our unruly lot. It was in Dallas TX, a bunch middle aged guys on
this court. John ran us through some
drills, he got us to play some games. Indeed, this is the first time that I
became acquainted with the drill morbidly named “The Pit”. It was John who
administered the beating that was The Pit to me. Afterwards we were all sweaty as
the air conditioning was terrible and John had put us all through a workout. We
were hot, hungry, and thirsty. This being Dallas, we hit the closest decent Tex-Mex
place we can find. This is where we made the connection about the Comets. Many
margaritas later, we were still talking about it. As a side note, that was also
the night I discovered that John Kessel is the guy who has a bottomless
stomach. The Tex-Mex food was great and plentiful and he just kept eating and
eating and eating. You need to realize that as a fat Chinese guy who could put
away food by his own right, watching the skinny older guy out eat him was not
just shocking but unprecedented. The respect grew from there.
We kept in touch after that, exchanging occasional emails and
I added him to my annual letter list. After I figured out that I was too old,
too short, and too fat to do anything near proficiency with volleyball, even
though I love playing pickup, I became happily sidetracked into coaching. Coaching
became an addiction. I initially started learning about coaching because I
wanted to be better as a player, but my playing got to the point where I
reached my saturation point. You just
can't outrun your own genetics, lack of height, and an overabundance of weight;
this was when I got in contact with John. We have had many happy conversations over much
food and libations. He was never too busy to answer my emails or answer my
phone calls. He always made time. He also added me to his glorious email list,
it was like gold. The volume of emails was
intense and the topics were broad ranging, he would occasionally throw in things
that he was just trying out. I got better as a coach by the proximity to his
broad base of knowledge. He surprised me with his generosity of time and attention,
he challenged me in my thinking regarding the status quo. Ask the question:
Why? Enough times and people will run out of answers. He encouraged me to look
for my own answers, even though I was not trained in sports, coaching,
kinesthetics, psychology, or any of the related areas. My first step towards being
a generalist.
I would say that my two top volleyball mentors never
actually mentored me. They led by example and I learned from watching them
lead. I watched John coaching the coaches as I watched my other mentor, Teri
Clemens, coach her Bears, as I lived in Saint Louis during her dominance of
Division Three volleyball.
One of my most favorite volleyball coaching memories was
when the Gateway Region sponsored a CAP clinic for both CAP I and CAP II. It
was at Nerinx Hall high school in Webster Groves Mo. John Kessel and Teri
Clemens made up of two thirds of the cadre, a happy convergence of fortuity. It
was an incredible experience of learning. They made us think, learn, and laugh
our asses off . Between John and Teri we had no chance of getting bored, or
taking ourselves seriously. That was probably the best coaching clinic
atmosphere I have ever been in. It was also meaningful for me for the obvious
reasons.
As I was coaching club volleyball, I'd see John occasionally
at the qualifiers, Junior Nationals, and the AVCA convention. We would talk and
catch up, but I always knew that this time together with my friends was
precious. We exchanged ideas and good reads and grew our knowledge. I also had
a hard time catching up with the John’s very catholic taste in interesting
topics. I believe that he is the first polymath that I had come to know
personally.
In 2013, I became an administrator in the super top secret
group known as Volleyball Coaches and Trainers, the brainchild of Sir Brian
Swenty. John and I became administrators
for this volleyball coaches’ group, so we got even more interaction. It is a
tribute to John that even though he had a very definite philosophy, and idea of
what learning and coaching should be, he rarely forced his viewpoint on anyone
in the group. Even amongst the 14 administrators. John didn't say much amongst
us but whatever he said whenever he said it we all listened, because he said
what he meant and he meant what he said. We are all great fans of the man and
his incredible work promoting, teaching, and learning about the sport that we
all shared.
One of our most pleasurable traditions is that we, the
administrators for VCT, would try to get together at the AVCA convention for at
least one meal, so that we could all catch up. Much alcohol and much large slabs
of beef were consumed. As always, John would impress us with his incredible
bottomless stomach.
We, all 14 administrators, all felt connected to USA Volleyball
through John’s affiliation because John was the perfect ambassador for the
sport of volleyball worldwide.
Which bring me to this point in time.
John can now live his life as he sees fit. His children:
Cody and Mac, both of whom I have met and have become friends with, are
magnificent people, they are a tribute to John as a loving and inspired parent.
I have also met his lovely wife Lilly at The USA volleyball banquet in 2019 where
John received the Frier award, the highest award that is given by USA Volleyball.
They are a well-matched pair. It was astounding to see the outpouring of love
and respect for John during the USAV banquet, a fitting honor for the work that
he's done for promoting volleyball worldwide. John has the inimitable ability
to teach and learn while going from the smallest enclaves of volleyball all
over the world to the largest stage for volleyball: the Olympics, without ever
losing his enthusiasm, generosity, and patience.
We all expected the expression of gratitude and love shown
in the VCT thread honoring John. We knew he is beloved because that is how we
all felt about him.
I wish him the best of luck. I know that he will not disappear from my life
or from volleyball, partly because John is a great friend and partly because I
won’t let him. He is stuck with me whether he likes it or not.
I hope to visit Bison Peak Lodge at Puma Point in the
future. Enjoy John and Lilly’s space and ethos of their project. This is from a
guy who thinks roughing it is a night without the remote.
Enjoy John. You deserve it.
